A Funny Selection of Philosophy Jokes

There are plenty of hilarious philosophy jokes out there, some of which could easily be incorporated into teaching materials for both children and adults. From three books on the topic by Tom Cathcart and Dan Klein to the back pages of the internet, philosophy has borne the brunt of many a joke through the ages, offering both truth and humor to a rather grim observation of the human condition. The history of philosophy  is, in fact, riddled with humor. Cathcart and Klein Since 2007, the dynamic philosophy comedic duo of Tom Cathcart and Dan Klein have used humor to observe some basic truths around human psychology and ancient and modern philosophies. They famously taught the work you may even begin to understand philosophy through jokes, penning three books on the topic. Largely their structures hinged on telling a joke then explaining its relevance to the broader science. Their first book, Plato and Platypus Walk Into A Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes premiered in 2007 and was a major commercial hit, breaking down jokes according to philosophical branches or broad topics such as relativity. In it, it picks apart such jokes as what is the sound of one hand clapping, as they compare to Platos observations on topics like religion, logic, and reasoning. Aristotle and an Aardvark Go To Washington was their second book, published in 2008 and utilized politicians most awkward talk to take up philosophical issues. Their third book Heidegger and a Hippo Walk Through Those Pearly Gates: Using Philosophy (and Jokes!) to Explore Life, Death, the Afterlife, and Everything in Between (2009) is devoted to a single philosophical topic: immortality. Some of Historys Greatest Jokes Some notable and unsourceable jokes date all the way back to Platos time, in fact, The First Law of Philosophy is that for every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher and the Second Law of Philosophy states that theyre both wrong. A common joke overheard  in 18th-century England was told as Did you hear that George Berkeley died? His girlfriend stopped seeing him! And more recently, you may have seen this gem plastered on bathroom stalls: God is dead - Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead: God. Nothing is safe in the realm of philosophy jokes, especially not religion. Have you heard this one? What did the Buddhist say to the hot-dog vendor? Make me one with everything; What did the vendor then say to the Buddhist when he asked for change? Change comes from within! Ethics also hasnt avoided ridicule, as is the case with this famous joke. In it, a thoroughly secular young attorney and a philosopher were engaged in a fierce theological debate. Heaven and hell, you will agree, may very well be separated by a wall, contended the lawyer. Should it happen that this wall would fall down, who would you say must rebuild it? He posits that the righteous would insist that the wicked do it and the latter would likely refuse. He continues, If this case came before a judge, which do you believe would emerge the winner? The philosopher replied, It seems to me that any fair-minded judge would render a verdict against the wicked since the likelihood is that the wall should crumble from the fires of hell rather than from the bliss of Paradise, but on the other hand, I fully realize that hell surely contains a full quota of glib-tongued lawyers, and I should therefore not be surprised if they won the case.

The Presence Of God Can t Be Demonstrated Or Invalidated

The presence of God can t be demonstrated or invalidated. The Book of scriptures expresses that we should have confidence in reality that God exists: â€Å"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him† (Hebrews 11:6). On the off chance that it was in God s will, He could just basically show up and demonstrate to the whole world that He exists. Yet, in the event that He did that, confidence would not be required. Jesus said, â€Å"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed’† (John 20:29). In any case, that does not show that there is no confirmation of God s presence. The Bible says, â€Å"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world† (Psalms 19:1-4). Watching the stars, knowing the tremendousness of the universe, watching the miracles of nature, watching the wonder of a nightfall, all point to a Maker God. In the event that these were not adequate, there is likewise evidence inside of us of the presence of God. Ecclesiastes 3:11 informs, â€Å"†¦He has also set eternity in the hearts of men.† Covered up inside of us is the disclosure that there is something past thisShow MoreRelatedDo Science And Religion Conflict?1719 Words   |  7 Pagesmanifestation of religious studies can be characterized as an accumulation of recorded stories which can be utilized to clarify how the world and people came to be in their present structure (Gaarder, 2007). Religions are in view of what myths the individuals accept to be valid. A few cases of these hallowed accumulations are the Bible and Koran. Christians taking after the Bible are told, through scripture, that the earth was made by God in six days. The Bible portrays how God additionally made Adam andRead MoreAncient Eastern Thought and the Old Testament Essay10692 Words   |  43 PagesDEPARTMENT OF THEOLOGY BY 03 MARCH 2013 Table of Contents CHAPTER 1: HISTORY AND METHODS 3 CHAPTER 2: COMPARATIVE STUDIES, SCHOLARSHIP, AND THEOLOGY 6 CHAPTER 3: SUMMARY OF THE LITERATURE OF THE ANCIENT NEAR EAST 10 CHAPTER 4: THE GODS 14 CHAPTER 5: TEMPLES AND RITUALS 19 CHAPTER 6: STATE AND FAMILY RELIGION 22 CHAPTER 7: COSMIC GEOGRAPHY 25 CHAPTER 8: COSMOLOGY AND COSMOGONY 28 CHAPTER 9: UNDERSTANDING THE PAST HUMAN ORIGINS AND ROLE 31 CHAPTER 10: UNDERSTANDING THERead MoreSda Manual Essay101191 Words   |  405 PagesAuthority of the Church and the Church Manual ......................... Church Authority in the Early Church .......................................... Church Authority in the Seventh-day Adventist Church ............... CHAPTER 2 Church of the Living God ................................................................ No Wall of Partition ...................................................................... Supreme Object of Christ’s Regard ............................................... OppositionRead MoreJuvenile Crime Issues in Today’s Criminal Justice System18893 Words   |  76 Pagesbalance? ISBN: 0-558-8661 1-5 Criminal Justice Today: An Introductory Text for the 21st Century, Eleventh Edition, by Frank Schmalleger. Published by Prentice Hall. Copyright  © 2011 by Pearson Education, Inc. The Future Comes One Day at a Time o one can truly say what the future holds. Will the supporters of individual rights or the advocates of public order ultimately claim the day? We cannot say for sure. This much is certain, however: Things change. The future system of American criminal justiceRead MoreDeveloping Management Skills404131 Words   |  1617 PagesManagement—-Study and teaching. 2. Management—Problems, exercises, etc. Kim S. II. Title. HD30.4.W46 2011 658.40071 173—dc22 I. Cameron, 2009040522 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 ISBN 10: 0-13-612100-4 ISBN 13: 978-0-13-612100-8 B R I E F TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S Preface xvii Introduction 1 PART I 1 2 3 PERSONAL SKILLS 44 Developing Self-Awareness 45 Managing Personal Stress 105 Solving Problems Analytically and Creatively 167 PART II 4 5 6 7 INTERPERSONAL SKILLS 232 233 Building

Over Medication of Prescription Drugs in Children Adolescents Free Essays

This study examines the pervasive state of mental illness and the overmedication of prescription drugs on children and adolescents between the ages of 5 and 18 years of age, here in America. It has been predicted that the lack of studies on the medicated child has not been able to determine the overall long term effects that it might have on the participants involved. However, community supported programs such as Blended Case Management have become the cornerstone to managing and providing supportive   care for the client and the families that suffer from the diagnosis of DSM IV or AXIS 1 classifications. We will write a custom essay sample on Over Medication of Prescription Drugs in Children Adolescents or any similar topic only for you Order Now Across the Atlantic the World Heath Organizations international mental health policies and programs are securely in place to ensure that everyone big or small is provided adequate care when dealing with the mental health in poverty stricken communities.The Current State of Mental Health the Medicated Child Mental Illness in children and adolescents is one of the most pervasive illnesses’ that is sweeping the American landscape. Every day a child is diagnosed under the classification of the DSM – IV or Axis I – R Diagnosis. DSM – IV or Axis I – R diagnosis is the criteria for which patients seek treatment for the following disorders that includes bi-polar disorders, schizophrenia, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, and Mood Disorders.Early diagnosis and treatment with psychotropic drugs has increased in children from the ages of 5 – 18 years of age. Prescription drugs in children still remain virtually untested for long term serious side effects on the growth of children. Overzealous doctors and the pharmaceutical companies play a decisive role in the treatment of these illnesses. Currently there are over one million children that are being treated for mental disorders in the United States alone (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2008).Many questions still remain pertaining to the overall remedy of such a deliberate action. Are children receiving the proper diagnosis and treatment for their illness? The diagnosis and behavior modification drugs for treating a variety of illnesses in children has been an ongoing debate among parents, doctors and the Federal Drug Administration for the past decade. How much is too much and when do you stop? No one seems to know the answers.Children are in a constant state of flux. Once a child is diagnosed with a mental illness various medications are prescribed to maintain the psychiatric symptoms and disorders, and they can include anything from bedwetting, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression disorder, eating disorder, bipolar disorder formerly manic-depressive, psychosis, autism, severe aggression, and sleep problems (CABL, 2005). The types of medication that are used in treating these psychoses are stimulant medications, Antidepressant medications, antipsychotic medications, mood stabilizers, and anticonvulsant medications. One of the most prevalent illnesses in recent years that deserve a notable mention is the rise of Autism. Autism is the most common condition in a group of developmental disorders known as the autism spectrum disorders (ASDs). Autism is generally characterized by impaired social interactions problems with verbal and non verbal communication, and unusual, repetitive or severely limited activities in interests.No one knows what causes autisms; some have said that it is due to the inoculation of vaccinations in the early development of the child which in turn throws off the natural development of our children, thus creating symptoms that lead to Autism. Experts have estimated that three to six children out of every 1000 will have autism. Males are also more likely than females to have autism (Autism-Society, 2008). Recently the United States Court of Federal Claims began to conduct hearings on whether to decide if vaccination’s additive led to thousands of children to become autistic (New York Times, May 2008).The courts are in the process of deciding if the government should pay millions to the families of sick children. Parents are insisting that thimerosal, a preservative that contains mercury have severely affected their children’s cognitive abilities, which the government and scientist have vehemently denied. Medical records indicate that all of the children involved were developmentally sound before the vaccines began. This case and others including vaccines for measles, mumps and rubella are still pending. The treatment of Autism like any other developmental disorder has become somewhat of a learning experience for everyone involved.Doctor’s often prescribe anti-depressant medications to handle symptoms of anxiety, depression, or obsessive compulsive disorder. Anti – psychotic medications are used to treat severe behavioral problems. Seizures can be treated with one or more of the anticonvulsant drugs. Stimulant drugs are also used to help control impulsivity and hyperactivity (Hersen, 1998). Nevertheless, the long terms affects of these drugs are not well documented. We have a lot to learn about this disease and the debilitating effects there of. Child and Family Support Care ProgramsPrograms that are nestled in the community such as St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital’s Blended Case Management Program in New York City, New York, give children hope in increasing stability in the home while carefully managing their disease. Support groups and training for patients and families have become essential in managing these possibly debilitating illnesses. Blended Case Management which is an affiliate of New York City Children’s Single Point of Access (CSPOA) at St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital Psychiatric Division, conveniently located in Manhattan, New York. I had the esteemed honor of meeting with Ms.Erin Atkinson who works as an Intensive Case Manager, who also, for the past six years has worked under the umbrella of The Child and Family Institute which includes the Blended Case Management Team. Over the past several years of her employment, she has counseled a number of patients that have been diagnosed as Axis I – R Diagnosis. Axis I – R Diagnosis is the criteria for which patients seek treatment for a variety of mental illnesses and disorders, which includes Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Bi-Polar Disorder (Manic Depressive), Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Cond uct Disorder and Mood Disorders which ncludes schizophrenia and depression. Blended Case Management is specifically designed and geared towards children. Her clients range in the age of five to eighteen years of age. The two main services that Blended Case Management provides to their patients are crisis counseling and advocacy. One of Ms. Atkinson’s key roles is to increase stability in order for the patient to remain in the community instead of psychiatric hospitalization and residential placement.Keeping the client in the home and providing therapy in spite of Axis I – R Diagnosis is imperative for the programs focus agenda to be and remain successful (E. Atkinson [personnel communications] February 26, 2008) . The Blended Case Management team works in unison to insure the best possible care for their clients. Strong advocacy skills have become the cornerstone of intensive case management strategy when providing the best possible out patient medical care programs for their clients. On many occasions over the course of Ms. Atkinson’s employment the rate of success has been phenomenal.However, it is important for us to understand that now more than ever children are being diagnosed with severe mental disorders at a very early age. We have been so concerned with medicating the child that we forget that families are affected as well. One of the great things about Blended Case Management is that the families are included as a part of the patients counseling and advisement regiment. Families learn coping skills that are essential to be able to manage the stress of a family member who has been diagnosed with Axis I – R Diagnosis.Education through family counseling is an essential and necessary component for the patients overall mental health and stability. Through my continued research on mental health disorders in children, I have come to understand the pitfalls by which being diagnosed with an illnesses such as Axis I R Diagnosis can be devastating for a young child to live and mange on a daily basis successfully. However, with programs like Blended Case Management in our communities, children will have the opportunity to live beyond the stigma of being classified with a debilitating mental disorder.International Programs and Policies Organizations such as the World Health Organization have extensive programs that are available for the strengthening of mental health promotion for adults and children alike. Countries such as England, France, Ghana, Gambi a, Zambia, Uganda, South Africa, Lesotho, Mexico and Peru have adopted several polices that are mandatory interventions that are developed by the World Heath Organizations for the emotional stability for poor populations. However, there are no mental laws in 25% of countries covering 65% of the world’s population. While 91% of European countries do have a law on mental health, only 57% of Eastern Mediterranean counties do. Mental health legislation covers legal provisions for the protection of the basic human and civil rights of people with metal disorders. Early childhood interventions combined with nutritional and psycho-social support in disadvantaged populations are essential for the communities and families to thrive under dire circumstances. Support for children such as skills building and youth development are nestled in major cities throughout third world countries.These facilities enable children and families to seek treatment which would have not been available before to the populace at large. Even though they are not as extensive and far reaching as American medical facilities, they are effective nevertheless. Everyday there are services that treat children and adults that are diagnosed mental illness. One program that has made a noticeable difference to there country is the Mental Health and Poverty Project which takes place in South Africa, Ghana, Zambia and Uganda.This program is designed to develop, implement and evaluate mental health policies in poor countries, in order to provide new knowledge regarding the approaches to comprehensive medical management, while breaking the cycle of poverty and mental ill health through out the population (World Health Organization, 2007). One of the things that are not mentioned in the international reports are the demographics and statistics of mental illness among children and adolescents or the frequent use of medication or how pervasive prescriptions drugs are used within certain sectors of the population.Nevertheless, there is hope; programs that are guided by the World Health Organization, guidelines which have been set in motion for the overall health and development of families that are effect by mental illness. Conclusion Never in all of my years of conducting research about any one particular topic have I found that the mental health and the over medicating of our children to be at such alarming rate of exposure here in this country.The lack of research on long term exposure of various medications of drugs and the after effects are still unknown but many continue to suffer at the expense of overzealous pharmaceutical companies and unknowing eager parents. We must begin to set a regulation of standards that would apply to every child that is labeled with a DSM – IV or AXIS 1 diagnosis. Long term stuffy of effects of these drugs must begin now. Only then can we begin to help our children more effectively when it comes to medicating our children when diagnosed with an illness.One of the things that I have continued to discover is that the prevalence of drugs in children that are prescribed by doctors are only effected with in the western culture of society. European, African and Asian societies and its usage of drugs are not at the level that it is here in the western world. Programs such as the Mental Health and Poverty Project that are established in African countries which include Zambia, Uganda, South Africa and ? , set models on how to combat the pervasive scope of mental illness through combating poverty at the same time.They believe through intricate steps of care of dealing with the issues of survival and poverty eliminates the long term effects of what metal illness could bring, which includes the prolonged use of medications which the average family can no t afford. Through family, community, and society, and government roles all play a factor in the striving and survival of the overall family dynamic. How to cite Over Medication of Prescription Drugs in Children Adolescents, Papers

Diploma of Management

Question: Discuss about how manage budget and financial plans. Answer: Performance objective The objective of the performance is to demonstrate the different financial approaches of the management. It shall include the management of the financial resources of the company. 1. Role Played by the Scenario Appendix 1 Big Red Bicycle company produces bicycles sold to the retailers in the domestic Australian Market. The structure of the senior management include the CEO, Managing director, Chief Finance officer, Operation general manager, senior accountant, sales general manager, production manager and the HR manager. The real goal of the company is to achieve net profit before tax worth $ 1000000. But, this goal is hampered by Economic downturn resulting into poor sales Expenses increases. In order to take the advantage of reduced cost, manufacturing overseas is considered by the company. It is also exposing in diversification of the range of products in order to avoid the poor sale of one of the product. Being the sales manager of team A, it is my responsibility to increase the sales of the company. Various measures will be undertaken by the Sales manager. He will access the information on budget on behalf of the team. It will be declared in budget to reduce the expenses and the economic downturn faced by the company. Budget will include the amount to be spend towards the expenses. The amount to be kept aside for the welfare of the company. Measures taken to reduce the economic downturn in order to reduce the poor sales. Sales of the company can be improved by providing suitable training to the employees of the company. Expenses such as the selling expenses, overhead expenses, should be reduced. This will help reduce the price of the product and thereby, helps the customer to purchase more. Team members are supported by the sales manager by providing suitable training to them to achieve the norms set in the budget. As, per the budget, it expects net profit before tax $ 1000000, which is possible with the help of proper planning, training to improve the skills of the employees, reduction in the expenses of the company, etc. Task A The overall financial objective of the business of the business with the help of budget is as follows- To achieve the financial need of the business To increase the net profit before tax to $ 1000000 To reduce the expenses incurred by the company To increase the profitability of the company To employ more number of skilled staff To employ more number of machines in the area of production. To advertise the products in order to create awareness among the general public. To expand the business The overview of the budget will be- To increase the production To increase the profit To provide training among the staff To reduce the expenses of the business Budget translate the expense allocation in the following manner- Cost of Personnel- It shall include the remuneration and salary and shall be calculated in the form of manmonth. Travel allowance- It include the cost of trip item wise. Vehicle expenses- It shall include the cost that is incurred to rent a car. It can be included into the travelling allowance. Equipments that are durable- Different views are set up by the funding agency. It is necessary to consider the policy of the agency before inclusion of such cost in the budget. Consumables- Enough money should be provided towards the consumables. Task B Bill Goodale will be responsible to track the petty cash expenses as well as other types of expenses. He knows how to prepare the spread sheet but is having least idea about how to use the formulae. He shall be provided training in the same. Some amount should be kept aside for providing training to the employees of the organisation. This will help in making them skillful and thereby, increases their productivity at the work place. 2. Access required budget information from relevant personnel Budget information is accessed in order to decide about the expenses to be incurred towards the personnel and to set aside some amount towards the training of the personnel. (YourArticleLibrary.com: The Next Generation Library, 2012) 3. Prepare to meet with your team member to communicate budget and then coach and train them in new role The above discussed are some of the points that will be included in the budget in order to improve the performance of the organisation. Budget is all about to be estimated the future performance of the company. As, the goal of the company is to earn $ 1000000, to reduce the expenses that are incurred such as selling expenses, by reducing the middleman expenses and expenses that are incurred on the advertisement of the products which are already known to the public and other expenses that are incurred in the process of production, etc. Thus, it is necessary to keep the team members aware of the same and to train them in the same by the keeping records in the spreadsheet maintained by the company. (YourArticleLibrary.com: The Next Generation Library, 2012) a. Determine organisational need The need of the organisation is to meet the goals set up in the budget. Its prime motive is to increase the profitability. Thus, it requires the employment of trained staff, reduction in the incurring of direct and indirect cost, etc. It need skillful staff to improve its productivity. Determination of the need of the organisation in the budget, helps to achieve the goals set up in the budget after a particular period say, after five years, etc. (Spreadsheetzone.com, 2016) b. Explain budget and relevance to team members accountabilities There are various reimbursements are provided in the organisation. Such as, for meal expenses, where the documents of expenses are attached with the reimbursement form. Amount can be reimbursed as described in the individual job. Authority to advance payment. For claiming the expenses, source document should be kept. Claims not adequately prepared will not be authorized. Reimbursement will not be allowed to the staff in the following case- Where there is late in the payment of penalty, fines, claim for tax deduction, non business expenses, etc. Travel expenses that include the insurance of the trip, routes that are indirectly taken will not be reimbursed. Travel expenses will be provided only for those routes which are direct. Allowance relating to mileage will not be subject to exemption. Expenses relating to accommodation which will include only the moderate expenses, personal expenses charged on to the account of the hotel will not be applicable for reimbursement. Thus, it is clear from the above that, budget is directly having its relevance with the team members accountability as it decides about the performance of the team member. (Spreadsheetzone.com, 2016) c. Identify coaching/ training needs of team member In order to improve the productivity and profitability of the organisation, it is necessary to provide training to the team member. Member who is not aware of the spread sheet so as to maintain the records should be provided training in the same. Proper planning and training to the team member helps in the allocation of the expenses and thereby, helps in proper financing of various department of the organisation. Training is provided to make the use of available fund in the particular area. This will help in the optimum utilization of the fund and thus, helps in the growth of the business. (Ba.uoregon.edu, 2016) d. Plan coaching/ training session and use appropriate coaching techniques Training Session can be provided to the employees based on the objectives set. It can be provided after office hour. This will help in carrying out the training without interruption in the routine work. Various coaching techniques can be used- face to face meeting, conduct of lectures, providing live demo or demo through internet, etc. Budget coaching can be given personally or with the community. (Ba.uoregon.edu, 2016) i. Outcome Spreadsheets are prepared to keep the records of the budget. It can be maintained in the following manner January February March April Income Income from business Total Expenditure Selling Expenses Distribution Expenses Total 0 Proper use of spread sheet and use of formulas such as of SUM is necessary to record the budget. ii. Inclusion of activities to instruct, practice, test and motivate Activities will be included that will instruct the staff how to perform as per the budget, make them practice to achieve the goals of the organisation, test the performance of the team members and helps to motivate them to put their best. e. Instruction, practice, testing and feedback on the petty cash excel spread sheet It is necessary to track the petty cash expenditures. These are the daily expenditures of the company. It helps the personnel of the Big Red Bicycle to pay small amount towards the petty cash expenditures. Testing up of petty cash excel spread sheet is done which will ensure its accuracy. Its testing is done based on the amount allocation towards this expenses and the usage of the same. After the testing is done, suitable feedback is asked from the team member in order to ensure equality of decision among them. Disbursement of petty cash shall be made by one of the team member. Petty cash need to be kept in safe. Proper receipt mush be issued of the same It should be properly recorded If the amount is more than $ 800, it has to be banked. Company shall record it as the miscellaneous expenses. (Managementhelp.org, 2016) References Ba.uoregon.edu. (2016). Spreadsheetzone.com. (2016).Petty Cash Management Tool. Managementhelp.org. (2016).All About Team Building. YourArticleLibrary.com: The Next Generation Library. (2012).What is an Outcome Budget?.